Helping People Break Free from the Victim Mindset at Work
Have you ever sat in a one-on-one meeting where every solution you offer gets met with, “Yeah, but that won’t work…”?
It’s frustrating — and exhausting.
When a team member is stuck in a victim mentality, they see themselves as powerless, at the mercy of external forces and circumstances. No matter how many resources, ideas, or opportunities surround them, nothing is worth running with.
As a leader, this can feel like pushing a boulder uphill — but there are ways to help someone shift out of this mindset.
Breaking Free from the Victim Mentality at Work
Victim mentality is the sense that things happen to me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
It’s a frustrating place to be, and it can be deeply demoralizing — not just for the person experiencing it, but for their team and leaders as well.
And here’s the tricky part: this mindset serves a purpose, at least in the short term. It comes with a few hidden benefits that make it hard to give up.
Why We Get Stuck in Victim Mode
When it doesn’t feel safe to take risks — either because of my own fears or because of the culture I’m working in — falling into a victim mentality can feel like the safest option.
If mistakes are punished, or if there’s a history of harsh criticism, the safer path is to stay small and quiet. After all, if I think that nothing I do will matter, then I don’t have to risk trying, failing, or facing blame. Victim mindset says: Hey, I’m okay not taking any kind of leap of faith here. If I don’t do anything, nobody can blame me if it doesn’t go perfectly.
Oh, look. Interesting: There’s that other problematic mindset, perfectionism, popping up to reinforce a victim mindset.
Another powerful benefit of this mindset is that it helps me maintain a stable self-image. If, deep down, I secretly fear that I’m not good enough or that I’ll let people down, then blaming external circumstances keeps me feeling safe. I can tell myself, “I am smart and capable — the real problem is out there.” Victim mindset is a shield that makes it smart to avoid risk and extra effort.
Understanding the reasons people get stuck is helpful in helping them (or ourselves) get unstuck. Victim mentality often has roots in real pain. Chronic stress, toxic workplace cultures, personal struggles, and trauma can all play a role.
What Victim Mentality Looks Like on the Job
Most of us have worked with someone who seems to be trapped in this mindset. The signs are familiar:
They feel trapped and helpless.
They’re waiting for someone else to fix things.
They talk about their challenges but rarely propose solutions.
They sound like they’re channeling that old John Mayer song, “Waiting on the World to Change.”
In complex work environments, this can be a huge problem. Most jobs require people to learn and grow as they go, especially when there’s no single right answer. Victim mentality blocks that growth. It keeps someone mentally stuck, unable to experiment, make decisions, or adapt.
This mindset is the polar opposite of the kind of learning-oriented, ownership-driven culture most leaders want to build. It stops teams from moving forward.
For more on this idea of ownership as the goal for people’s relationship to their work, see my popular blog on Responsibility - Accountability - Ownership.
Helping Someone Shift Out of Victim Mode
So, what can you do as a leader when someone on your team is stuck in a victim mentality?
The first step is to normalize change and risk-taking. Frame it as a core part of the job:
“Our work is about adapting as we go. That means trying new things, making mistakes, and learning from them.”
When you set this expectation clearly, it helps people see that taking risks isn’t a failure — it’s simply how the work gets done.
From there, preparation matters. Difficult conversations go better when you come in ready with a few “back-pocket phrases.” These are simple, supportive things you can say in the moment to help guide someone forward without taking over the problem yourself.
Here are two examples:
Invite small, doable action:
“Given your role and the resources you have, what’s one small step you can take?”
This shifts the focus from feeling powerless to taking ownership. It also taps into a key leadership strategy: breaking change down into something small, simple, and soon.Collaborate without rescuing:
“It sounds like you don’t have any ideas for how to proceed. Let’s brainstorm some together.”
This keeps you in a supportive role while making it clear that the responsibility to act stays with them.
The goal isn’t to “fix” their mindset in one conversation. It’s to be patient, understanding, and persistent. Even a small win — one action taken, one idea tried — can help break the quicksand feeling of victimhood and rebuild momentum.
When Nothing Seems to Work
Sometimes, despite your best coaching and support, a person stays stuck. In these cases, it’s important to name the mindset itself as the core issue.
Rather than focusing only on a specific project or task, you can say:
“I’ve noticed a pattern where it seems hard for you to come up with ideas or take initiative. That’s now a performance issue we need to address.”
This shifts the conversation from the details of their work to the larger problem of how they show up at work. It’s similar to working with someone who resists all feedback — at some point, the resistance itself becomes the thing you need to address directly.
Why This Work Matters
Victim mentality may protect someone in the short term, but over time it hurts both the individual and the team. It prevents learning, collaboration, and innovation.
As leaders, our role isn’t to shame people for feeling stuck — it’s to create the conditions where they can safely take risks, learn, and grow. By approaching these conversations with empathy, structure, and persistence, we can help our team members move from helplessness to action.
When someone starts to believe, even a little, that they do have agency — that their choices matter — it can be transformative. And that shift doesn’t just change their experience at work. It can ripple outward, creating a culture where everyone feels more empowered to take ownership and make change happen.