For the Leaders Who Don’t Need the Spotlight (But Deserve It Anyway)
As an extrovert who works as a teacher, facilitator, and consultant—and who loves connecting with new people and talking about ideas—I’ve been thinking about how much the organizations I work with rely on the leaders who are not like me.
This post is an appreciation for the quiet leaders: the ones who show up, pay attention, dig in, and get the good work done without a lot of noise or flash. The ones who don’t need the spotlight—but deserve it anyway.
One distinction I’ve become more aware of in my teaching and facilitation work is the difference between internal and external processors. Internal processors tend to think before they speak. They might take a beat—or a day—before responding to a question or sharing a point of view. External processors, like me, tend to talk to think. We work out our ideas live, often discovering what we mean as the words come out. We process socially, when we have the chance.
The more experience I get in facilitation and coaching, the more I value—and adopt—some of the internal processor's strengths. It’s also a return for me to the skills I practiced in my time as a social worker/therapist. As a facilitator, I have to choose my words carefully, pause more often, and leave space for others. I have to notice when I’m filling the room with my own ideas and make sure I’m not crowding out the voices that might take longer to emerge.
Which brings me back to the quiet leaders.
When I think about the people who have made a steady difference in the teams I’ve worked with, many of them are not the first to speak in a meeting. They’re not always posting on Slack or dropping into your inbox with new ideas. But they’re noticing things. They’re building trust one conversation at a time. They’re modeling calm, consistent reliability. And when they do speak up, people listen—because they’ve earned credibility not through volume, but through presence.
I wonder: Who are the quiet leaders in your world? Is one of them you?
Coaching Requires Quiet
One of the clearest places I’ve seen the strengths of quiet leadership is in coaching. The best coaches aren’t the ones with the most advice—they’re the ones with the most curiosity. Coaching is about asking good questions, listening well, and creating space for others to think through their own challenges. It's not about fixing or performing. It’s about helping people hear themselves.
Many quiet leaders excel at this. They’re naturally more comfortable with silence. They’re less inclined to jump in and offer solutions before someone else has fully expressed a thought. They wait. They notice. And that patience allows deeper insight and stronger ownership to emerge from the person they’re coaching.
Of course, you don’t have to be a naturally quiet person to be a great coach—but you do have to learn the value of quiet. To slow your responses. In this way, loud (or verbal, or chatty) leaders like me can learn from our quieter peers—and become more effective because of it.
Making Space for All Kinds of Leadership
So much of workplace culture—especially in high-pressure, fast-moving environments—rewards the people who speak up quickly and often. Meeting culture can favor those who are willing to think on their feet. Recognition can tilt toward visibility, not contribution. But if we only tune in to the loudest voices, we miss out on some of the wisest ones.
Here are a few ways we can pause and recognize the contributions of quiet leaders:
Ask, don’t assume. Invite quieter team members to share their perspectives—not in a performative way, but in a way that shows genuine interest. Some of the best ideas come from the people who’ve been thinking while others were speaking.
Follow up 1:1. Not everyone processes or contributes best in group settings. Make space in your leadership rhythm to check in individually, where people may feel safer sharing their insights or questions.
Watch for invisible work. Quiet leaders often take on behind-the-scenes responsibilities that don’t make it onto the radar of formal recognition. Look for these patterns. Name them. Celebrate them.
Model quiet confidence. If you’re a more vocal or extroverted leader, try holding back sometimes—and see what else, who else, fills the space. Your restraint creates more room for others.
Quiet ≠ Passive
Let’s be clear: quiet leadership isn’t passive. It’s intentional, grounded, and often fiercely effective. These leaders may not be shouting about their vision—but they’re showing up every day to make it real. They may not dominate the room—but they’re shaping its culture. They may not lead with volume—but they lead with clarity, trust, and steadiness.
As someone who’s naturally a little louder, I’m learning to admire and learn from the quiet ones. They remind me that we all benefit when leadership looks more like listening, when coaching includes silence, and when recognition doesn’t always follow the spotlight.
So here’s to the quiet leaders. May we notice them, learn from them, and maybe even try to be a little more like them.